MoxieintheCity.net - Social/Professional Networking Events & Workshops

Aug 27
What Your Voice Says About You

Mar 25
Passion Play

Feb 14
Hook Up How To

Feb 07
Match Point

Nov 14
Immaculate Deception - False Advertising on dates

Oct 19
About Last Night - Fellatio Class

Sep 12
Lapdance 101 - Give Me Your Lap and I1ll Change Your Life

Aug 22
Sex Ed for Adults

Dec 01
Lock and Key Parties Inspire Harlequin Novel

Nov 15
Moxie In The Press - Ready To Stop Being Single?

Oct 01
Why Can`t You Just Say `Not Interested?`

Oct 01
Moxie in the Press - Dating Trends from The Tyra Banks Show

Sep 01
How To Score at A Singles Event

Aug 11
Moxie in the Press - Moxie Feature din ABC.com Article About Online Dating

Aug 04
Moxie in the Press - Giving Karma A Nudge - Flirting Workshop Review

Aug 01
(S)he`s All That

Mar 01
Moxie in the Press - Match.com Review

Mar 01
Moxie in the Press - Nerve.com Review of Moxie`s Bedroom Confidence Workshops

Dec 31
Lapdance 101

Dec 31
Fellatio in the District

Moxie in the Press - Giving Karma A Nudge - Flirting Workshop Review

Giving your karma a little nudge

Flirting workshop has help for that dreamed-of moment

By Jennifer Dorazio

Inquirer Staff Writer

'You should totally sign up for this," my single - but attached - girlfriend says via e-mail. I look at the subject line: Flirting Workshop. I roll my eyes and type back, "Are you off your meds? No way."

Not another event that preys on lovelorn singletons wasting away in condos and cubicles, desperate to get noticed.

Speed dating, singles booze cruises, mixers, and theme parties. Match and E-Harmony and It's Just Lunch. All, in my cynical single-girl mind, money-draining endeavors that take advantage of singles' innermost fear: waking up alone for the rest of our lives.

What happened to fate, to karma? If I had a dime for all the times I've heard, "It will happen when you least expect it... . " ("What if you're always expecting it?" is my pal Laura's smirking response.)

I scroll down a bit on my e-mail. What exactly is a flirting workshop, anyway? I envision pick-up line cheat sheets, tips on effective hair flips, and how to get properly fitted for sparkly tank tops.

"Tap into your inner bad girl," it says. "What signals do you send off?" (Uh, desperation?)

"This isn't a pick-up seminar," the flyer says. So much the better, I think, because who knows what kind of freaks, er, singles, show up for these things. I'm a singles-event virgin who's heard too many stories from girlfriends about Match dates gone bad, and speed dates with 35-year-old, basement-dwelling mama's boys.

The host for this workshop, it says, is the owner of moxieinthecity.net. It's $25. Is it bad that I'm wondering if that includes drinks?

Well, what's the worst that can happen, right? Sometimes karma needs a little nudge.

B ourbon Blue, the casual-chic hangout and restaurant in Manayunk, is the setting for this summer flirtfest. I park the car and wonder if we'll be discussing pop culture's famous flirters, the good - Joey Tribbiani's "How you doin?" - and the bad - Anthony Michael Hall's flashing his braces on the bus in Sixteen Candles.

Bourbon Blue's downstairs bar is set up with tables and chairs facing the back wall. "It's like a classroom," whispers one girl on her way down.

There's a nice cross-section of flirtees: women in their late 20s, 30s and early 40s, guys in their 30s and 40s - pretty evenly split between men and women, which is good.

Workshop leader Moxie is really Christan Marashio, a down-to-earth, unintimidating 36-year-old Bostonian who says she's hosted and organized singles events since 2001. Marashio, standing before her students, exudes confidence and, well, moxie.

A guy toward the back whips out a huge fold-out leather notepad - the kind you'd bring to a stockholders meeting. Clearly some people are taking this very seriously. I, meanwhile, have a whole batch of eyerolls ready to make an appearance.

Much to my surprise, I didn't need them.

Marashio's advice is heartfelt and encouraging. "Appreciate being single," she says, pacing the floor as a blender whirs upstairs. "Own your body, whatever size you are, you're beautiful" - and this is directed at the guys, too.

We should get rid of the stigma of "being alone equals bad," she explains. "Don't cross your arms and look down" if you're out socializing with friends. "Force yourself to make eye contact."

Good advice, of course, and it all plays into what Marashio considers to be the four "areas" we singles should focus on to maximize our chances for a love connection: attitude/expectations, appearance, communication and body language.

I won't divulge all of Marashio's secrets, but I will say that by "appearance" she doesn't mean sparkly tops and the trendiest clothes. She says you can impress even when you're not all done up, just by giving out a positive vibe.

On to the post-lecture, interactive forum - a free-for-all sharing session and Q&A.

A tall blonde, who I learn later is Audra Niszczale, 34, a research scientist from Norristown, is talking about gender roles. "They're less defined now. Some guys like it if a woman asks for their number or asks them out. Some guys don't."

"Be willing to make the move, even if it means rejection," Marashio answers. "We can all handle the no."

I glance behind me. Notepad Guy is still scribbling furiously - and what's this? Two flirtees, who did not come in together, are exchanging cozy smiles and whispers.

A guy to my left, who will only give his name as Lance, says "guys are gun-shy going up to a group of girls."

"Get over it. Buy us a beer and get over it," says Audra. I like Audra.

The banter continues, and before I know it, this Flirting Workshop has morphed into a singles support group.

First the guys are venting, then the girls are talking about meeting people at coffeeshops and in produce aisles. Someone else is relating a juicy Match dating story.

"I have no idea what I'm doing wrong," says another flirtee, Rose Furmanski, 35, an IT project manager from Plymouth Meeting.

Neither do I, I think, and that's why we're all here: to share our woes with a sympathetic crowd. It's like a twisted version of an AA meeting. I feel like standing up and saying "My name is Jen and I've been dateless for" - well, let's not get into exact numbers.

As Marashio wraps things up ("If you can't take a risk, you're not ready for a relationship"), the love connection behind me seems to be progressing nicely. Business cards and phone numbers are exchanged.

Afterward, I chat up Audra and Rose. What did they think? Was it worth it? "I didn't learn anything new. I considered it a pep talk," Rose tells me.

"You just have to keep plugging away," says Audra. "I want to be rocking in a rocking chair at 80 with someone who makes me laugh."

Adam Mitry, a 36-year-old nurse from Fox Chase, echoes my occasional down-with-love attitude. "I've gotten cynical, I'm embarrassed to say. I feel self-conscious, too. But you're among those who share your experience."

T he next night, at home on my couch, I'm flipping stations with my remote. A rerun of Fear Factor is on. All these bug-ingesting, stunt-diving beautiful people should try something truly scary, I muse. Try elbowing your way through a crowded bar in search of a ladies room with no line and a gross-out factor less than 7 out of 10.

It is ugly out there in Dating World, but I have to admit that the workshop did encourage cynical (but hopeful romantic) singles like myself. I'll keep practicing my ice-breakers, but until one works, I guess being alone equals OK.

For now.

Five Flirting Tips

Courtesy of Christan Marashio of MoxieintheCity, LLC.

1. Stand up straight, look your new friend in the eye and smile.

2. Flirting is a tango, a waltz - enjoy the dance! It takes a few moments to get in sync, so allow yourself (and them) some time to adjust.

3. Ask questions, but don't "interview."Acknowledge the other person's responses verbally or with nods. It shows that you're listening and processing what they are saying.

4. Mirror your new friend's posture and tone of speech. It implies an acceptance of who they are and what they are saying, and builds a comfort zone for them to relax and open up.

5. Allow for the "X" factor. In every dating equation, there are certain experiences or preferences that are unknown to you. Don't take it personally if your interest is not returned.

Publication: Philadelphia Inquirer
Website: http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/news/special_packages/inquirer_magazine/12294460.htm
2005-08-04

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Moxie in the Press - Giving Karma A Nudge - Flirting Workshop Review